4.6/5.0
One of the most unique heartfelt modern romantic comedies of our generation. Although, it falls under a much more diverse set of genre’s aside from the romantic comedy aspect. An authentic take of what many young American relationships resemble when two people from two different cultures come together. Kumail’s charm captivates the audience and leaves you wishing for a happy ending.
Aspiring standup comedian and part-time Uber driver Kumail struggles to fuse his Pakistani background and his American identity together. While preforming at his comedy show young American Emily catches Kumail’s eye leading to an unexpected one-night stand. Neither of the two are looking to date, but quickly find themselves continuously making excuses to meet with each other. After months of seriously dating, Kumail finds difficulty in confronting the reality of his Pakistani arranged marriage tradition and telling his parents about his relationship with Emily. In the midst of Kumail’s lies to protect both his family and Emily, Emily finds her relationship is threatened upon discovering Kumail’s impasse to tell his parents the truth. Weeks after the two separate a sudden illness puts Emily into a medically-induced coma, which brings Kumail to face his feelings and tear down the walls he’s built to protect himself and his family.
Spoilers Below
One of a kind romantic comedies, with such relatable and relevant topics. One of the reasons I truly appreciated this film is due to both its undeniable charm and depth. The best part is that it’s not just a romantic comedy, the film is so broad it can appeal to many different audiences. It’s rare to find a romantic comedy with some truth and a realistic unfolding of events. I didn’t mean that as a sarcastic statement because as soon as I typed “realistic” I was like, “Oh right, that’s because it was real.” I went into this film never watching a single trailer, synopsis, or recommendation which I’m finding is the best way to go into any film. Naturally i didn’t not know this was essentially an autobiographic romance story. Needless to say I was ugly crying. Thank you Kumail.
The main question of this film is between family and romance, what sacrifices are you willing to make? Who comes first? The unfortunate truth is that there is no correct answer, we don’t live in a perfect world where compromises don’t have to be made and I think Kumail correctly captured that reality. It’s a common obstacle that is not often addressed, the difficulty of differences in culture in relationships as well as disapproval from parents. This film felt extremely important to me in a personal way, as someone who has dealt with the difficulty in longing for acceptance from a parent and the need to stay true to ones self.
It seems Kumail has tucked away any kind of confrontation about his disconnect with his culture and heritage so as to avoid judgement from his family. Playing the role his family wishes to with the long line of arranged Pakistani dates, Kumail plays along for the sake of avoiding an argument. Hiding his true identity from his parents has allowed Kumail to stay under the radar, at least for a bit. Until he’s placed in an problematic predicament. Upon meeting Emily, everything Kumail has been suppressing comes to resurface. He can either lose Emily the sweet girl he is clearly falling for or tell his parents the truth and risk being shunned from his family. It’s not an ideal situation and it’s difficult to determine what the right choice is. From Emily’s perspective as a committed girlfriend five months into a relationship compared to Kumail who has been dishonest with his family about his relationship, would easily make Kumail the bad guy. Although, I’m not in total agreement with that statement. Kumail is not a bad person for longing for the relationship with the “spark” he’s been dreaming of and he’s also not a bad person for not wanting to be shunned by his family. While it seems as simple as explaining to his parents how he truly feels deviating from tradition, it is not. I could understand why Kumail has put off coming to terms with the truth for so long. No matter what reaction Kumail may receive upon opening up to his parents, he continues to risk the possibility of losing his family forever. When put in that situation, how many of us are truly ready for that? It’s an honest depiction of the struggle of sacrificing between family and relationships.
Another crucial theme of this film includes culture, which is extremely relevant to those thousands of young children who were brought to America by their parents. As a Mexican-American I have found a similar struggle in the clash of my two culture’s while being brought up in America. Kumail was brought to America as a child and as a result has begun to assimilate to the American culture. Although, Kumail is torn between his American identity and wanting to keep in touch with his Pakistani culture. Through my personal relevance to Kumail’s situation, I find it difficult to be American enough for my American lifestyle, but yet being Mexican enough for my roots. While growing up it became a constant struggle pretending to be one way away from home and returning home play the role of another culture. This separation of culture is present until one becomes accepting of both cultures in equal amount. For Kumail it seems his family is disappointed in him when taking in any kind of American cultures and do not allow him to find his own self-identity.
All around an outstanding film that touched based on many social issues including assimilation, racism, family struggles, all the while keeping in touch with its touch of comedy. I’m glad a film like this was created for people like me, Kumail and to anyone else who feels any kind of relevance. It’s important to include people from different cultures and to address the difficulties that come with them making it feel just a little less lonely. Captivating chemistry between Kumail and Emily, leaves you invested in the characters and wanting them to end up together.